Starting from that, after mingling with good people and keep
attending to religion classes in a mosque, ‘surau’ and anywhere else, kind of
bashfulness appeared slowly in my life. Instead of only wearing scarf and
tudung that do not meet the 'syariat' ways, which is too short, transparent, do
not covered hair properly and others, I turn into a long hijab which is worn by
some Muslim girls that usually come from religious school. I’m being contrast
with the other science students. I was condemned and looked weird by other
people including my own family. Of course at first I feel disappointed and
annoying with not-accepted-sigh that I need to face alone. Come on. Science student
wearing long hijab? Does it make any sense?
One of the people I know told me, “Your tudung is too long.
I think it not suitable with you. You look like ‘ustazah’ by the way”. Feel awkward
with that hijab even when I wearing those short tudung they don’t saying such
thing like that. What’s wrong with my long hijab? Don’t prevent me from doing a
good thing for me and for my religion sake. I have my own opinion on how to
being a respected and good woman. I stand to this Quran verses:
“O children of
Adam, We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your private parts and as
adornment. But the clothing of righteousness - that is best. That is from the
signs of Allah that perhaps they will remember.”
[7: 26]
Wahai anak-anak Adam!
Sesungguhnya Kami telah menurunkan kepada kamu (bahan-bahan untuk) pakaian
menutup aurat kamu, dan pakaian perhiasan; dan pakaian yang berupa taqwa itulah
yang sebaik-baiknya. Yang demikian itu adalah dari tanda-tanda (limpah kurnia)
Allah (dan rahmatNya kepada hamba-hambaNya) supaya mereka mengenangnya (dan
bersyukur).
[Al-A’raf: ayat 26]
One thing that make me feel annoying is not because they are
against me, it because, when I’m doing something wrong, they are not going to
advice me and show an awkward expression like that. I know I not that good to
be like other pure, innocent Muslim woman who have a chance to learn Islam or
was already born in an Islamic family and was educated with Islamic religion. If
you want me to put my long hijab from my head, I won’t listen- even though I
always against common people point of view in some aspects. I don’t care.
Because I think this is the most right choice I have done all my life. I just
want to be like those good and bless Muslimah as told in the seerah of the
Prophet.I want to be like Saidatina Khadijah r.a., Saidatina Aisyah r.a.,
Saidatina Fatimah r.a. and other precious women beside Rasulullah s.a.w. and
more than that, I want to be the Prophet’s pride in the Hereafter. I want to feel protected when my father and
mother are not beside me to look after me. You don’t know how difficult it take for me to
turn like this and how pain I need to sacrifice all the pleasure which familiar
to my life before and I need to leave all the excitement just because I want to
obey Allah and Rasulullah s.a.w..
If I have decided to wear this long hijab, means that I need
to throw away all the jahiliyah things and all the bad deeds which indeed, took
a great effort for me. Yes I once feel
depressed and upset with those negative look and stare. I don’t ever think that
there is such narrow-minded person like this. They think all those western-stylish-girls
are inspired person? They think all that bad, nasty, wild lifestyle is good for
all people? And we must follow all their lifestyle even though it was forbidden
in Islam? Of course I’m not that kind of person. I want to stick on my own
principles. I was still a young teenager that time but I know which is good and
which is bad for me. I think I’ve made a right decision to wearing long hijab
which covered my aurah totally and I feel save,calm and protected. I don’t
think I’ve made a wrong decision even though they are all against me.
Yes, once in my lifetime I think I've done the right decision for
myself. Even though I know I'm right, but after that I was crying
so badly. I feel alone..I felt I'm not strong enough to face this alone. I need someone to be beside me. I need someone who can lend me a shoulder when I need to share what I felt at that time. So I pray that Allah will make me strong and bring me to someone who’ll
support me and tell me that I’ve made a right decision. I need a support. I
need some peace and tranquility. I need the truth which makes me feel strong
and confident with myself. I wrote in my diary, with all the tears flowing
through the cheek that I wish Allah will sent me a spouse and friends and someone
who’ll protect my religion, support my good deeds and will stay beside me when
everyone is against me as long as I’m doing the right thing. But one who sweeps
my tear away that time was my eldest brother. I told him everything. He texting
me and said he was with me. He consoles me and told me that he’ll support me
for all the good things I want to do and he’ll prevent me from doing the bad
things. He believes on me! Yes I feel more energized and motivated after that.
Some light has shone on me. I don’t feel alone. I know Allah love me and He’ll
give me the bright truth after this. Yes He is. He’ll never lie to me.
After that even if they don’t like my new appearance, I
don’t care anymore. One person is enough for me this time to make me feel
believe in myself. He is my brother which I always adore and respect since I
was a little girl. Even though he is very firm and bold because he is the
leader in the family, he still become the person I respect the most. And after
what he has done to me I think I want to respect him more. I adore him-even
I pray that Allah will give me a spouse like him. Hee~ But that was when I
first wearing a long hijab lah. Long time after all the people surrounding me
get use with my ustazah-like-hijab while I keep perform better in all my
achievement for everything I do, they slowly accepting my principle and stand. (I
realize as I want to be a better Muslim, Allah will always help me even in a
little thing I do). After that I keep meeting with many Muslimah that share the
same principles like me. They came from a variety of background and field of study.
A Muslimah doctor, a pious lawyer, an engineer and another professional person
including those who study in Islamic knowledge, the hafizah and others. I love
to exchange experiences, ideas and knowledge with all of them I met.
And I though as I
wearing long hijab the shyness will disappear within me, but the longer the
hijab, the more ashamed I felt! Until I need to mingle with many people
around me which most of them are men, I used to cover my face with a piece of
cloth. Although it does not able to make me
feel completely calm
just like I was in my home or as I was with my mahram, but it helps me to
behave better with the people around me.
A sense of shyness that appeared protecting me from doing
something illegal to the people around me. It controls my behavior. And yes I
feel save and protected. SubhanaAllah. I pray that all Muslim women can feel
this tranquility and think deeply why Allah asking us to wear a proper hijab
for every women.I’m not asking them to wearing this long hijab, but at least, a
hijab that cover your aurah correctly, such as, not wearing a scarf with short
T-shirt or not wearing legging while you wearing a tudung on your head and
others. There are so many benefits they can
get. InsyaAllah as long as we are sincere to obey Allah s.w.t..
Salaam and peace from me, an ordinary Moslem girl who stand to extraordinary principles. I feel Izzah (proud) with my Muslimah-style and I feel bless to be a Muslimah..
Salaam and peace from me, an ordinary Moslem girl who stand to extraordinary principles. I feel Izzah (proud) with my Muslimah-style and I feel bless to be a Muslimah..
O Prophet, tell your
wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over
themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will
be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.
[33:59]
Wahai Nabi, suruhlah
isteri-isterimu dan anak-anak perempuanmu serta perempuan-perempuan yang
beriman, supaya melabuhkan pakaiannya bagi menutup seluruh tubuhnya (semasa
mereka keluar); cara yang demikian lebih sesuai untuk mereka dikenal (sebagai
perempuan yang baik-baik) maka dengan itu mereka tidak diganggu. Dan (ingatlah)
Allah adalah Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[Al-Ahzab : 59]
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